All I can say is....

Hello again!  (Yes, I know, shaddap.)

So a few months ago, out of sleep-deprived morbid curiosity, I engulfed myself into the whole Brony-Neckbeard-Fedora-Friendzone thing.  No, I didn't go down to my local Wally World and pick up my own pin-striped can of vagina repellent.  I didn't mope my way into Hot Topic and get the newest vinyl My Little Pony abomination.  And I certainly didn't saunter into a GameStop, fingers all a'cheeze to get the latest whatever-the-fuck video game and call someone a "filthy casual".  What I did do was sit at home and laugh at those asswipes.

A little break-down.  One night my lovely wife and I decided to watch "Bronies" on NetFlix.  Ho. Lee. Shit.  These fuckers are weird.  And I'm saying that from my golden pedestal of virginity-prolonging Star Trek fandom.  But these are men obsessed with a show made for little girls.  Let that sink in for a minute.  They buy the toys.  They wear the clothes. THEY GO TO THE CONVENTIONS.  One of them had a girlfriend that they met through the MLP forums or something, and I can only imagine the WTF Pony sex they have.  (On a side note, in that particular relationship, you could tell that the guy was WAY more into the pony thing than she was, and even she seemed a little creeped out by it.)  I could go on, point-by-point, about how fucking disturbing this entire documentary was, but that may be another post.  TLDR; Bronies are fucking weird.

The whole fedora thing struck a special place in my funnybone because I know at least 2 guys that have them and wear them regularly. "But Dinosaur Man," you say, "fedoras are manly and Indy wore one."  And you'd be correct.  Fedoras are, in my humble opinion, pretty cool hats.  Where my rage laughter comes in (and you'll find this all over the internet) is that these douche crowns, while technically being fedoras, are in fact called trilbys.  Now, while there are guys who can pull the look off, the fact is that it's really only women who look good in these hats.  And that's mostly because of the stigma most of the trilby-wearers have sprayed all over the hat itself.  But after way too many hours scouring the web that fateful day, I'll leave you with this infographic (Sorry if it's tiny)--

There ya go.  Know the difference.

Now, the point of this post.  Remember how I said I know 2 guys who wear these fucking things?  I just saw this--

I went with the more diplomatic reply.  What I was thinking was "Well, at least now you can be warm in the friendzone."

-The Dinosaur Hunter